Why am I so scared?

When did I turn into such a big scaredy cat? I have never been so scared or anxious about my life…then the way I feel at this very moment. Tears have been flowing out of my eyes way too easily. My heart feels empty and my brain is telling my heart that this feeling isn’t going to go away. Why am I scared? I am scared to step out of my box. I am scared to leave my favorite town in the whole world to move to Denver; I am afraid to leave my friends; I am afraid to leave my gym; and I am really afraid of being alone. Being alone is a very empty feeling. Even though, I have my best friend Deverie to experience my new journey with….I still feel alone. For some reason, I am not thinking logically. I have let my heart lead me into a scary place. Starting my new job as a CPA with the largest accounting firm in the state and the fourth largest in the world should be exciting. However, I am not thinking of that aspect. I can only think about all the things I am leaving behind.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow new adventures to scare us away? I should be looking at this with a clear mind, but my mind is too clouded with scary thoughts. My parents taught me to be a strong and independent woman. I shouldn’t ever have to rely on anyone but myself to get the job done. For the past five years, I have done just that. If I want something….then I get it! I work hard for what I want and the feeling of satisfaction I receive is amazing. It is nice to know that I have the power to go out and get it without any help. This time, things are different. I don’t want to do this by myself. I want help….I can’t believe I am about to say this, but I want someone to hold my hand through this process! Really?! Yes, how can Miss Independent go from always wanting to do everything by herself and for herself to needing someone to hold her hand? Not sure? I need to figure this out.

Tomorrow, I am officially an adult. I start my real job. You know the kind you work from 8-5 everyday. This last weekend, I chose to leave Fort Collins with a BANG! Actually, it was a BIG BANG. (This calls for another story…another time.) This past weekend was so bittersweet. I had the best weekend ever, which makes it even harder to say goodbye. All of my friends are going in different directions. I know that some of them I will never see again, others I will see every now and then, and there are just a few that I will see more often than not. Life goes on and the music keeps playing, whether or not we want it to. This is one of those times that I wish I could hit the pause button. Since I have no control over the music player….I must accept it and move on. I have to embrace this scary thing called change; I have to run with it and I have to own it.

I am the only one who can control my feelings. I am choosing to take this scary situation and turn it into something totally FAB!

Any words of wisdom for this scared 23 year-old?

Food for thought:
“The Master of Life’s been good to me. He has given me strength to face past illnesses, and victory in the face of defeat. He has given me life and joy where other saw oblivion. He has given new purpose to live for, new services to render and old wounds to heal. Life and love go on, let the music play.” Johnny Cash

Happy Fourth of July!

Celebrate...oh we will. Thank you forefathers! It is so important to remember how far we have come as a country. Please take this day to celebrate our freedom, while remembering those who have fought and are currently fighting for the United States of America. I am taking this day to celebrate my freedom by going for a run, having a great BBQ with my friends, enjoying a nice cup of Starbuck's coffee and then ending my great day with an amazing firework show. I am free to do all these things that make me happy because America stands for freedom! Ahhh....how lucky are we?!

Enjoy your day and take a moment to remember our history....

Background
Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is the annual celebration of nationhood. It commemorates the passage of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776.
The Congress had voted in favor of independence from Great Britain on July 2 but did not actually complete the process of revising the Declaration of Independence, originally drafted by Thomas Jefferson in consultation with fellow committee members John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman and William Livingston, until two days later. The celebration was initially modeled on that of the king’s birthday, which had been marked annually by bell ringing, bonfires, solemn processions and oratory. Such festivals had long played a significant role in the Anglo-American political tradition. Especially in the 17th and 18th centuries, when dynastic and religious controversies racked the British Empire (and much of the rest of Europe), the choice of which anniversaries of historic events were celebrated and which were lamented had clear political meanings. The ritual of toasting the king and other patriot-heroes—or of criticizing them—became an informal kind of political speech, further formalized in mid-18th century when the toasts given at taverns and banquets began to be reprinted in newspapers.

Early Years
In the early stages of the revolutionary movement in the colonies during the 1760s and early 1770s, patriots used such celebrations to proclaim their resistance to Parliament’s legislation while lauding the king as the real defender of English liberties. However, the marking of the first days of independence during the summer of 1776 actually took the form in many towns of a mock funeral for the king, whose “death” symbolized the end of monarchy and tyranny and the rebirth of liberty.
During the early years of the republic, Independence Day was commemorated with parades, oratory and toasting, in ceremonies that celebrated the existence of the new nation. These rites played an equally important role in the evolving federal political system. With the rise of informal political parties, they provided venues for leaders and constituents to tie local and national contests to independence and the issues facing the national polity. By the mid-1790s, the two nascent political parties held separate, partisan Independence Day festivals in most larger towns. Perhaps for this reason, Independence Day became the model for a series of (often short-lived) celebrations that sometimes contained more explicit political resonance, such as Washington’s birthday and the anniversary of Jefferson’s inauguration while he served as president (1801–09).

19th Century Celebrations
The bombastic torrent of words that characterized Independence Day during the 19th century made it both a serious occasion and one sometimes open to ridicule—like the increasingly popular and democratic political process itself in that period. With the growth and diversification of American society, the Fourth of July commemoration became a patriotic tradition which many groups—not just political parties—sought to claim. Abolitionists, women’s rights advocates, the temperance movement, and opponents of immigration (nativists) all seized the day and its observance, in the process often declaring that they could not celebrate with the entire community while an un-American perversion of their rights prevailed.

A Modern Holiday
With the rise of leisure, the Fourth also emerged as a major midsummer holiday. The prevalence of heavy drinking and the many injuries caused by setting off fireworks prompted reformers of the late 19th and the early 20th century to mount a Safe and Sane Fourth of July movement. During the later 20th century, although it remained a national holiday marked by parades, concerts of patriotic music and fireworks displays, Independence Day declined in importance as a venue for politics. It remains a potent symbol of national power and of specifically American qualities—even the freedom to stay at home and barbecue.
Copyright © 1994-2009 Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. For more information visit Britannica.com.

Food for Thought:
“May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country! ”
~ Daniel Webster